It is useful to understand the order in which a person will experience emotions from negative to positive in relationships. By doing this, people can practive each of these emotions from lowest to highest so as to get a feel for how they progress one into the other. Below is the scale:
Apathy — Giving Up
Making Amends — Complete turning over of your will to another
Propitiation — “I’ll do anything to make it up to you!”
Sympathy — “”There, there, poor dear, it’s all right.””
Hidden Hostility — He’s smiling in your face and stabbing you in the back. Two-faced, dishonest, says one thing and then does another.
No Sympathy — “You made your own bed, now go sleep in it.” “Tough Love”
Anger — Out of control; lashing out at the world
Positive emotion Antagonism is the border between negative emotion and positive emotion
Antagonism – “Hey! Come over here and I’ll kick your butt!”
Boredom — Yawn!
Conservatism or Contentment — “Things are fine just the way they are”
Interest — “I like that. Let me see!”
Enthusiasm — “Wow! Let’s do that again!!”
Exhilaration — “I feel fantastic!!!”
Serenity / bliss – Complete connection with the God self and a feeling of oneness with all life
This scale is a measure of increasing (or decreasing) life force energy, intellectual capability, and happiness.
How to Use the Emotional/Vibrational Tone Scale
As an example lets take Barb and Jill, who had planned to go out for lunch. Barb is apathetic about her life, and calls Jill up to cancel their appointment. Shes moping around at home and Jill says”Ill be right over.” Lets say that Jill has a good knowledge of the emotional/vibrational scale.
Barb and Jill
“Whats wrong Barb?” says Jill.
“Oh, I just dont care anymore,” Barb says apathetically.
Jill is just about to fire off an angry comment about Thorpe, her former boyfriend (that big jerk) but she realizes that a very large vibrational gap exists between apathy and anger. Apathy is very low on the scale of emotions and Jill doesnt want to overwhelm her friend, so she says gently,”Its Thorpe isnt it?”
Suddenly Barb bursts into tears, an activity that used to really piss Thorpe off.”Damn women,” hed think,”what the hell is wrong with her now?” But Jill knows that grief is the next harmonic of vibration on the scale of emotions, so to her Barbs reaction is perfectly logical. Barb is wailing on about Thorpe and how lonely and rejected she feels. Jill is a good counselor, and even though she thinks to herself,”Youre a whole lot better off without that loser honey,” she says nothing and lets Barb vent a little. She knows that although being around grief is uncomfortable, matching Barbs vibration would result in failure, for two vibrations of grief would just reinforce the other, sticking both women right in it. Jill knows that only by maintaining a high vibration can she be of any use to Barb at all.
After several minutes Barb is cried out and looks up at her friend. Jill recognizes that Barb is poised at an emotional brink; and that a word or gesture from her can send her friend up the scale or back downward. She also knows that people can hit an emotion and pass by it very quickly on the way up or down, so shes not sure exactly where Barb is going next, but she knows its going to be some version of negative emotion, and is prepared for it.
Jill says,”You had some good times together, didnt you?” hoping to bring Barb up a little. She doesnt say,”Still feeling sad about Thorpe?” because that might stick Barb back in grief.
Barb says, sympathetically, and a little defensively, “Yeah we did! I remember the time we went to the putt-putt golf course and he put his arms around me”
Jill lets Barb go on a bit, because she recognizes the emotion of sympathy, which is a little bit up from grief.
After a time Jill suggests,”Maybe youll meet somebody else.”
A look of anxiety comes over Barbs face and she says,”Do you really think I can? All the guys Im attracted to treat me like crap.”
“Yes I think you can. Youre such a great person.”
Barb can proceed as above to bring Jill all the way up the scale. If you know which emotions follow in order,
you don’t get surprised and it’s a lot easier to help another person.
You can also use this Emotional Scale to bootstrap yourself up the emotional ladder.
If you’re in apathy and begin to cry, that’s a step UP. Mostly what happens is that a person begins to cry and says “Oh what’s the use! I still feel rotten” and gives up. Giving up is the same as apathy. So you’re right back where you started.
When you are fearful and make a step forward, you get angry. Society does not like angry people; the authorities like to put such in jail. In school angry kids are drugged to make them conform. This puts them lower on the scale, in apathy mostly. The fact is, an apathetic person is easier to control and easier to get along with.
Why is anger more positive than fear or grief? Because an angry person is more animated.
When you are in anger and take a step up, you might feel antagonistic. An angry person is spewing, he’s out of control. An antagonistic person is more directed, more under control. He’s resisting much less and feeling a little better. And he’s more rational.
Why is boredom higher than antagonism? Because there’s less resistance. Boredom is a higher harmonic of apathy and a lower harmonic of serenity, antagonism is a higher harmonic of anger, and a lower harmonic of exhilaration. Emotions are just vibrations, and they have higher and lower aspects.
Of course, the emotions on this scale will feel more comfortable to different kinds of people. For example, I used to know a guy who much preferred antagonism to boredom or conservatism. Once you get out of the deep negative emotions it’s just a matter of where you feel most comfortable.
Kenneth James Michael MacLean has written 8 inspiring books, over 100 content-rich articles, and produced two movies.
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